Lord, is it I?

            So much of our lives are spent judging other.  “Did you see what she wore to church?” “I heard they were getting a divorce.” “He really struggles with his testimony.” “She’s headed for trouble” “He is trouble!” For some reason it can be so easy for us to see the ways in which others fall short of their standards or our standards for them. So many problems are created by our desire to find fault with others. How often do we look to ourselves for our areas of weakness?

            Before entering the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ spent time with His disciples. They ate and instituted the first Sacrament. During this time they were also told by Christ that one of them would betray Him. These men were the apostles. They had grown to be nearer to Christ than any other people on the earth. They loved him. Yet, one of them would betray them. 

Their response is telling. They asked only, “Lord, is it I?” (Matt 26:22) They all were sorrowful, knowing that this would happen and that it would be one of them. Instead of pointing the finger and trying to guess who if the Twelve it would be they turned to themselves, asking if the fault was theirs. 

We are so good at seeing the faults in others. So good at underestimating their contributions. Maybe we should look first within ourselves for the fault. Maybe it is us, not them, that needs improvement. 

Turning within ourselves for improvement instead of trying to pin down the faults in others does three things for us. First, it helps us to become better. It helps us to see where we need to step up and helps us fix those flaws.  Second, it helps us to see others as equal to us. When we stop noticing the bad in others, we start to see the good in them. We start to see them for what they can be instead of the problems that they have. Finally, it also helps to reduce conflict with others. Because of agency, we cannot change others, only ourselves. The choice to change is theirs alone. When we no longer focus on the faults we have the chance to love them. There is less fighting and the Spirit is more often present.

Let us be better about where we look for the source of our problems. Remember the Apostles during the Passover prior to Christ’s death and ask yourself, “Lord, is it I?”